I'm From Driftwood

by Rachel M.

I wasn’t even the one who brought it up. My mother asked me on a trip to Denver if I was questioning my sexuality, and a sense of relief flowed through me. For the past few months, I had found myself falling for my best friend, and trying to deny what I was feeling, but now I had an opportunity to say everything that I had been bottling up. My mom listened to everything I had to say, then smiled. She didn’t judge. She wasn’t angry. All she did was accept me for who I was.

During the same summer, I made the decision to switch schools, from a small K-12 to a larger public school. My former school was so small that everyone knew everybody’s business and there were no out gay kids. When I began dating my first girlfriend at my new school, nobody really cared. That isn’t to say that they weren’t surprised or confused at first, but there was no controversy, no mean words in the hall or lost friendships. Eventually the relationship ended, but it left me with a sense of gratitude for my new school and it continues to make me happy when I see gay couples holding hands in the halls without fear.

Last night, I went and saw The Artist with a beautiful girl. As I sat there, with her arms around me, I felt so happy and content that I didn’t ever want the movie to be over. Then I realized how lucky I was, to have this and still be in high school and have parents that support me. I’m out and proud, and lucky to be so.

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It has been 13 days since one of my moms died. She had become sick very quickly, and then the call came; the call I wish had never come- she had died. When I was three my mom fell madly in love with Linny (my other mother). They loved each other like I have never seen love before – for 20 years they loved each other. Linny helped raise me. She read Are You There God it’s Me Margaret? to me, she kissed boo-boos and told me she loved me every night. She was my mom too. Everyday after school Linny would help me with my homework and quiz me for upcoming tests. We were inseparable, best friends, mother and child. 

I am writing this because at Linny’s funeral there was no mention of my life with her. It was an intentional disregard for the beautiful life the three of us had. Linny would have wanted the world to know that she loved not only another woman to her fullest capacity, but that she had a daughter. She was a lover of nature, animals and peace. She nursed injured birds back to health and rescued abused dogs from animal shelters. What was said about Linny at her funeral was not about my mom. The story told at Linny’s funeral was a story of a woman I did not know. There was actual mention of Linny’s “husband,” with whom she’d divorced more than two decades ago! It was a façade her family spoke of out of fear of letting who Linny really was to come alive.

You see, while Linny was sick I was not allowed to visit her in the treatment facility. But that didn’t’ stop me from sneaking in to see her. When she turned to look at me she said, “It’s Maygen- my daughter.” I’ll never forget those words, that smile, and that last kiss I gave her. Read more.